'Ougadougou, Burkina Faso'

Just how sexy a city name is that? Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to go to Ougadougou, just because I love it’s name so much. I mean, here is not only a kick-ass city name, but a kick-ass city name belonging to the capital of a country with a kick-ass country name.

Burkina Faso used to be called “Upper Volta”, which is kinda cute really. But it’s nowhere near as awesome as ‘Burkina Faso’, which apparently can be shortened to ‘Burkina’ in much the same way ‘Britney Spears’ can be just ‘Britney’. It’s that fab.

If you find yourself wondering whether a resident of Burkina Faso is a Burkinan or a Burkinite, both of which would be cool, the reality – Burkinabè – is simply way cooler. No idea how to pronounce it, but that grave accent where you’d expect an ague rocks my world.

When I was a kid, I figured it was pronounced “oo-ga-doo-goo” and always hoped that Hanna-Barbera would come out with a TV special called “Scooby-Doo in Ougadougou”. I was later a bit disappointed to learn it’s really “wah-ga-doo-goo”, vaguely like “wackadoo”, or in fact a bit like “cock-a-doodle-doo”. With time I’ve learnt to forgive les Burkinabè, however. And now I wouldn’t have my Ouagadougou any other way.

'Ball-peen hammer'

Apparently, the ‘peen’ of a hammer is what the rest of us would call the ‘head’ of a hammer. The ‘peen’ of an adult male, is of course, entirely a different kind of head.

Which, in short, is what is so very awesome about this particular name. It is a lovely collection of cool terms for male genitalia all put together. And it’s something that you have to go to Home Depot to get, so that you can walk in wearing a manly man-apron and ask the guy there to show you where they keep their ball-peens. And he’ll show you, without even cracking a smile. That’s just how manly he is.

'Kumquat'

The world is filled with fun, exciting fruit. Few, however, have a name quite as awesome as ‘kumquat’. Apparently, it’s derived from the Chinese ‘金橘’, which means ‘golden orange’. An odd name, to say the least, as a kumquat is precisely the same colour as an orange is: namely, orange.

In other news, gold is kind of a shiny orange itself, really.

I’ve never eaten a kumquat. All that matters is its awesome name, which is formed from one naughty word and very nearly a second naughty word, but somehow isn’t that naughty sounding a word. It’s just a cool sounding word.

Wikipedia tells me that genetic mutation has created two new semi-kumquats called the ‘limequat’ and the ‘orangequat’. While lovely words themselves, they bring with them the hope that ‘quat’ will one day be a stand-alone word.

Introduction

I don't really have any special reason for doing this blog. I'm just bored and friendless.